Just things I want to remember - Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

This morning, as I was putting a spiral ham in the oven. Shaun came in and observed the process with great interest, noting each detail as I wrapped it in aluminum foil and glazed it. I usually use my toaster oven for baking, but this dude just wouldn't fit inside it (I tried several positions with no luck), so, into the BIG oven (that I seldom use) it went. Later, Shaun came back in the kitchen to check out what was smelling so good, looked into an empty toaster oven and asked, "Mommy, where'd the big chicken go? What did you do with it?" So, if anyone asks what did we have for T-giving, I answer, with a big smile, "A spiral cut BIG CHICKEN."  

Later, I asked Shaun if he'd gotten enough to eat and he answered, "Oh yeahhhh, but the big chicken was the bestest."

Shaun has been quite curious about various types of relationships and people's ages, and well - people in general. It's as if he is trying to sort it all out in his mind somehow. After dinner, everyone was sitting around discussing this and that, catching up on time and distances. Shaun decided to contribute to the conversation, and asked, "Uncle Stanley, do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or anything like that?" We all giggled, but not to be outdone, Uncle Stanley answered, "Yep, got two of each." Shaun stopped to look bewildered for a moment before continuing, "Where do you keep them?"

And to think, with all this live entertainment, we still pay for cable.

...

Just things I want to remember

I've always heard that kids say the darnedest things and have found that to be true, especially in the last few weeks.  Many of them seem to be from the backseat when Shree or I am driving.  For example, we were coming back from McDonald's the other night and I hear this question from the back seat, "Mommy, what are you going to be when you grow up?"  Of course, he was a bit confused when we ripped out in a fit of giggles.  But in his defense, it shows he is thinking, and that's a good thing.

The state fair is here this week, and we went this past Saturday.  It was more crowded than last year, so after a while, we decided we'd had enough of trying to get here and there around all those people and left.  We pass Arby's on the way home from the fairgrounds and Daddy decides it's as good a place as any to stop for lunch.  Fine with me, that's for sure.  As we were leaving, I noticed the ad sign on the wall for the chocolate turn-overs and remembered that I'd meant to get one.  Shree asked if I wanted him to go back and get me one for later, but I decided I'd wait until next time.  I didn't think Shaun was even paying attention.

We get Shaun loaded up in the car and pull out of the parking lot.  This is the conversation that happened next:

Shaun:  "Daddy, how 'bout we do this?"  Pause for affect.  "Let's take Mommy and pour chocolate syrup all over her.  Then we'll turn her over and that way Mommy can be a chocolate turn-over."

Muffled giggles from me and Shree as I am visualizing myself covered in chocolate syrup at the hands of my six-year-old.  Then one last comment:

Shaun: "Oh yeah, and Daddy, you can put a cherry on top if you wanted to."

So there you have it.  In my career as Shaun's "Super-Hero Moo-Moo," I am now a chocolate turn-over too.  Yumm.

And in the meantime, I will ponder on what it is that I want to be when I grow up.

Signing out, at least for now, as Super-Hero Moo-Moo Chocolate Turn-Over.

Singapore - The Lizards

I mentioned in the birds post about not telling Bill about the lizards. I figured anyone who had read that might be wondering what lizards had to do with it, or the birds. Well, they didn't have anything to do with the birds.  They have their own story to tell.

When Shree showed me the kitchen (he arrived in Singapore about a month before I did, and had already chosen our house), he explained that I keep everything tightly closed. What he didn't add was why. I looked at all the plastic containers and just figured it was because of the humidity. I found out later there was more to it than just the humidity.

Of course, everyone knows ants will get into sugar, if they can, but we didn't have just ants, we had fire ants. Those little suckers would eat you alive if they got on you, leaving red whelps behind to show they'd been there. I can tell you, fire ants do not like sugars, they prefer other things besides that but will get into everything looking for what they want. They were a problem that all our friends shared, with little success in keeping them out. I found a pretty good solution quite by accident. I'd cleaned off the marble (or slate, whatever it was) with the lemon dish washing liquid I'd gotten from the shops. It seems the ants HATED it and would not walk across it. Perhaps fire ants do not like lemon, or soap, but either way, it kept them out of my kitchen as long as I remembered to wipe down the counters each day.

Ants? you ask. Wasn't this post supposed to be about lizards? :) Well, yes, back to the lizards.

I am sure the lizards have a proper name, other than just "lizard." Yep, they do. wildsingapore.per.sg lists the "lizards" that are native to Singapore, and although there are a dozen of them listed, they are all gecko lizards. Explains why some of the lizards were bigger than others and why some were dark and others were lighter green.

I have more than one story about the lizards to tell, so be patient. I just wanted to get the ant thing out of the way first, and identify my lizards as gecko. Real, wild gecko, not like the Australian-accented one in the commercials.  Mine didn't talk.

Like sharing my kitchen with a flock of birds (which continued in both locations we lived in at Jurong East), I also shared it with the lizards. Matter of fact, the lizards pretty well enjoyed the whole house. Sometimes they'd run when I entered the room, and other times, they hold still, I guess to see what I was going to do and see if I was going to come where they were. My stories will be about two specific ones of these visiting lizards.

The first lizard in my story was a light-colored one and had a dark spot on one side of his/her back (which is how I identified him as the same lizard every time - his "beauty mark" so to speak). This particular lizard I called "Henry" and talked to it because, being alone all day while Shree was at work, it was my sole companion. "Hi Henry! Whachadoin?" Henry never had much to say, but followed me from room to room. No matter what room I went into, he managed to get in and hang out with me. Perhaps he liked being talked to, maybe he liked blondes, who knows. But he'd come as close as he dared to where I was sitting, and watch my every move. So, Henry was my first "friend" in Singapore.

The next lizard was a darker one, also a bit smaller than Henry. I never named him because he flipped me out too much. His preferred residence was in the bathroom. Let me stop here to explain a "typical" Singaporean bathroom to those only experienced with the US kind: There, the whole bathroom is one room. It includes the shower and toilet (which is flat to the floor and requires squatting to use) and is covered floor and walls in tile, making the whole room the shower. What we'd call a bathroom sink is outside the door to this room for the main bathroom, and inside - to get wet as you shower - in the MB one. So, the little lizard had a pretty good size room to do his lizard stuff in. Now for the story part. Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, I took a shower, it would jump on me. Why? I have no idea, but it did. The first time it did it, I was glad I was already in the bathroom, or I'd have needed one. After I got used to it, I'd wait for it to leap from the wall or ceiling to land on me (usually on my arm or shoulder), and then take my shower, with my little lizard friend. It never followed me around, like Henry did, but it was a ritual for it to jump on me every time I showered. I was careful to not get soap in its eyes. :) I got so used to its antics that I'd have to remember to make it get off, or I'd carry it back into the bedroom on me and it didn't like the bedroom. My turn to flip it out, I guess.

Next story: I found out one more of the reasons to keep everything tightly closed. Part of my Singapore (and Indian husband) experiences was to learn to prepare new dishes. There, food courts offered up all kinds of Indian, Thai, Indonesian and Chinese fare. In my efforts to recreate what I tasted there at the courts, I'd gotten a packet of curry powder. Now, for those of you that have never had curry, it can be a bit on the spicy side and I'd gotten the spiciest one I could find, because that's how we liked it - hot and spicy. Apparently when I closed it up, I didn't get it sealed as well as I should have. A day or so later, I was looking for it and upon finding me looking for it, Shree nonchalantly said, "I threw it out." Why? I asked. "Because the lizards laid eggs in it." Up went my eyebrows. Ewww! I don't know about you, but being hatched in a bag full of ground up hot peppers and other spices is not my idea of how to come into the world. Unless you are a lizard, I suppose. Then my next thought was why didn't he show it to me first because I'd never seen lizard eggs before.

Lizards were a daily part of my life in Singapore. Besides Henry and my bathroom buddy, many came in and out, stopping for a moment to watch the strange person they'd found. Some, as I have mentioned before, were light, some dark, some big, some small. But I got used to them. And yes, if a lizard gets scared, his tail does fall off. (Ewww!)

Now, for the final chapter. We married in April of 2000. Shree's family took some time to adjust to their new foreign daughter, so I didn't get to meet them for the first time until August 2001. We made a quick trip in and back out again for a jam-packed 3 days in Mumbai. The second time we went, for a little longer time to spend with them, was the trip a few months later and covered here in another post, Xmas 2001. When we came back, after our two week absence from home, I found Henry in the middle of the kitchen. I don't know if he missed me too much and thought I'd abandoned him (and committed lizard suicide), or it was just his time to go. But I missed my little green friend after that. None of the other lizards, although there were many, ever picked up his habit of following me and watching me with such interest. I still had my bathroom buddy though, until we moved to a different flat nearer the airport, where Shree's project was located. Bathroom buddy remained behind to terrorize the next occupant. (Wonder how that went?)

Note: The above photos are not of my lizards in Singapore.  I "borrowed" them from wildsingapore.per.sg to illustrate what kind of lizard Henry and bathroom buddy were.

This post dedicated to Henry. May he RIP wherever it is that lizards go.

S-h-m-i-l-y

They say we learn about love from being surrounded by it. Rochester, New York journalism student Laura Allen's grandparents taught her a lesson in love that outlasted their lifetime and lives on in hers, as she shares the story. She writes:

My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.

They dragged "shmily" with their fingers through the sugar container to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us homemade pudding. "Shmily" was written in the steam on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point my grandmother unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave "shmily" on the very last sheet.

There was no end to where "shmily" would pop up. Little notes with "shmily" scribbled on them were found on car seats or taped to the steering wheel. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust on the mantle and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. The mysterious word was a much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture.

Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle. My grandmother whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was--the man she met on a blind date--and how handsome an old man he had grown to be. Before every meal they bowed heads and gave thanks, marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune and each other.

But there was a dark cloud on my grandparent's life, my grandmother had cancer. The disease had first appeared ten years earlier, and at that time I remember that she'd painted her room yellow. With a yellow room, she explained, she would always be surrounded by sunshine even if she was too sick to go outside to enjoy it.

With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they still went to church every morning. But my grandmother grew weaker until she could not leave the house anymore. For a while, grandpa would go to church alone, praying to God to watch over his wife. Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone.

"Shmily." It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members gathered around Grandma one last time. Grandpa stepped up to my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to her. Through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty lullaby.

Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew then that, although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.

S-h-m-i-l-y. See How Much I Love You. 

Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for letting me see.

Catching Up

I spent most of yesterday catching some things up.  I have photos everywhere, on this webpage, that webpage, in this folder on the laptop, another folder on the other computer, etc.  One thing I have realized is that you think at the moment when you take it, and even when you look at it a bit later, that you'll never forget the experience that led up to taking it, where you were and who you were with BUT the truth is, you do forget.  I have many photos that I look at now and the memories regarding it are dim, fading fast.  So I figured I might as well put them here, with the added bonus that everything is all together in one place.  Yesterday's efforts were to gather the webpage stuff together, which is pretty well done at this point (unless I find more, or remember where something else is located), at least what has happened since 1999 when this segment of my life began.  And before everything is lost or forgotten.

More coming...

India - Christmas 2001 in Mumbai

From the 14th to the 24th of December, 

we spent the time in Mumbai, India, with Shree's family.

Shree arranged for a family outing for all of us, by renting a car for a whole day (for 2000 rupees, or about $42 US) and had it take us to several spots. The driver was two and a half hours late, which almost ruined the mood for the day, but we made the best of it.

The first place we went was The Gateway to India, at the tip of the island that makes the main "city" of Mumbai.

The view from the right side of the gateway, part of Mumbai in the distance.

The view from the left side of the gateway, another part of Mumbai showing in the distance.

The view from looking straight at the Gateway, of the boats. The water here is too shallow for the ships, so there are only smaller boats able to come here.

From left to right: Shree's brother, Parag, Daddy, Shree's youngest brother, Deepak, Mamma and then, me.

While outside the vehicle, a "holy man" came and "blessed" me and Shree's mother. He tied a string with a red and yellow powder on my wrist, and put the bindi dot of yellow on my forehead.
It took two 'wet-ones' to get it off later.
The back of the guy in the picture (green shirt) is our driver (yeah, the one that was two hours late to pick us up).

The Hanging Gardens of India. 

I stopped for a moment under this arbor to get out of the blazing heat of the sun, and Shree's dad decided it was a 'Kodak moment."

Let's see just how many people we can fit under one little arbor. This time Shree is the photographer because Daddy didn't want to be left out.

Shree caught his Dad talking to me and recorded the moment forever for posterity.

Shree was testing the new camera we had taken as a gift for his dad, and spent some time following everyone around, snapping them when they didn't expect it.

One of the places we went on our outing with the driver was The Aquarium. They did not  permit pictures inside, so there is only this one from the outside.  I guess they didn't want us scaring the fish with the flash. :)

Then it was home and Tea Time.  Just how many people does it take in one tiny kitchen to make tea? Shree took the photo to prove it, as least for this one time, that it takes five well-intentioned people to make tea.  I didn't have the heart to tell them that I am not a big fan of tea with milk in it.  I drank it anyway and didn't say anything.  (Did I mention this was only my second trip to India and second time to see them? We were still in that "getting to know you" phase.) Eeyore and I were on good behavior. :)

Deepak seems to be really enjoying his tea.
I teased him that he was drinking something other than tea, from the look on his face.

Shree's Mom was, is and always will be, the sweetest, kindest mother-in-law I could ever imagine

The rest of the time, we just spent with Shree's family.  Of course, Shree and I took off a time or two on our own to see parts of Mumbai that he frequented when he lived there.  We visited his college, where we were thrown out because we weren't students there and where they lived when his dad worked for BARC.  Then back "home" to Singapore on Xmas day.

Singapore - Chinese New Year, Jan 24, 2001

There are mostly only photos here for this one.  I'll let them speak for themselves. Enjoy!

Shree at the Lotus gardens.

The ceiling of the building.  Awesome!